; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
