loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
