I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
