it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
