Is it normal to miss your booty call?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
