Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
