I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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