apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize