wakey wakey hands off snakey
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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