At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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