but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Randomize
