Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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