I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize