Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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