yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
