What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
