I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My balls are so social today.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
