And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
