Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
