Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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