You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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