can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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