I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
