Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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