I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
