im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
