As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
