I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
why is half of my head shaved?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
