I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
