ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
