Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
