if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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