he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
