I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize