you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize