Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
