Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
