the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
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