You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
