Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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