yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we're making bets on your personal life
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
