I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
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I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
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We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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