i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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