My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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