Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
