he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
