Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.