you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me