he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
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Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.