what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?