I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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