god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
