we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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