its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
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New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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