I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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