You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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