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Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
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