forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.