matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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