Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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