I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
