Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
