i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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