Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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