While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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