Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
