??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
